Give me no alarms, no surprises

Tomorrow one of my friends at work, La Noe, goes to Radiohead's concert on Barna. Radiohead for me means one thing (hey, fans, do not judge until you have finished reading) it means: No alarms and no surprises. This song defines for me a longing, one I've mentioned before, hidden in the last 2 posts. The perfect notes at the begining, the perfect lyrics, the perfect video too.

Today at work, with my new table partners we were discussing the many arguments of an alternative life style that appeared on an interview in the news paper. It's always interesting to find out about a person through what they are againts and what they push foward. The main point of our discution was: Alternative if lead to the extreme, eventually turns into a dogma of breaking the system, therefore freedom becomes a cage, this time not made of concrete or gold, but of leaves, raw food, and...appearently urine.

The last couple of months have been full of alarms and surprises. When you are trained to deal with this on a daily bases, you tend to grow this layer of cynisism, hardness or numbness...this layer basicly is like the fog of contamination in the city. All stays gray, lifeless or just simple there, meaningless. I'm glad to be in a process of teaching myself the way out of this fog.

Being a curious person, I tend always to indulge my thrist for knowledge in what's different from me, alternative life styles included. What caught my attention of this one, was that they seemed to live with No alarms and No surprises. As a present to you all from this post, I share an image I got from a book, specially to understand life as a whole, with or without alarms and surprises. The last friend I shared it with, Annita I miss you, used it well and it worked for her, so I hope it works for you too. Here it is, play the song and picture:

A flowing river...


Here, No surprises from Radiohead.

Aquí

Not long ago I was mesmerized as many by a story about a young man who disapeared from his ordely life, one bound to sucess, into nothingness...Into the wild. To some selfiness, to others lack of common sense, to some bad luck, to others a true returned to nature; guided his way into perishing alone in spring on Alaska. If you want to know more, I highly recomend reading and watching Into the wild, book and movie.

As it was, stories like this have always held my attention. I once wrote a short story about a young man who casts himself out, and bounds his existence to a cave. I'm often more interested in stories of drastical changes than stories of burocratic sucess. Draw from my confession your own conclutions.

Since watching the movie and reading the book, with some friends and alone too, I've poundered about this. Also, I've reflected on my own "vanish" scenario: I don't believe the nature of inmigration separeted from that of living something behind to face a dramatical change. Those around me don't seem to see me as an inmigrant, this concept often related to a "less fortunate" group of wanderers, who come out of necesity to do whatever it takes not to go back. I, having willingly on my own two feet, with a Bachelor Degree, a second language, Graduate Studies and mingling in the circles of those who look from the window out to inmigration; don't seem to fit in the concept. Yet, that's exactly what I'm here and how I feel.

Returning to this post's original subject, I've been walking around an idea: We all vanish. We vanish from feelings, from responsabilities, from critiques, from expectations. We all, at some point, choose to fight or to retire...and more, we all desing a big bullet proof theory to justify our choice. Some do it daily, others often, others just once in a while. But to my understanding, we all do it. I've done it, and if you check (not even deeply) you'll find you have too. We all construct a spiral wall around what we did or did not do. We all make choices either to try or to give up, and we all spend the rest of the time learning how to deal and live with it.

At the end of the post, there's a song I had quite forgotten. At one point in my life, basicly when I was so sure I needed to go to achieve whatever is I wanted, I had it as a motto. It talks about a change, a desicion made from here on to change and to live differently. A few days ago I was having a drink with some friends from dance and one of them, who I have to say I never carried a long conversation before with, related very simply, calmly, truthfully and enlightingly here life story. In less than 10 mins, this women whom I admire for her courage, proved something I would never imagine I would be able to do and live to tell: she-in a perfect state of peace of mind- related to us many of life hardest trials you can imagine, and simply said "that's life, you just have to always reinvent yourself".

How many times lately have you reinvented yourself?

Ran againts Facebook

Advocating Artist

The other day I was checking Facebook out to clean most of the things people send me and I never add. Also, has to be said, I was ignoring the petitions of former relations who added me as a friend. Being one who has most of her friends and relations on the other side of the ocean, which makes it really hard for you to keep up with them, I tend to economize my efforts by staying in contact with those who I truly appreciate (If you are one of them, forgive my lack of contact...Even though I work in a web, I rarely have time....or most likely I rarely am organized enough as to answer or write :( )

That is why I find Facebook appealing. It allows me to check out in a quick glance what's going on with my friends, family and people I used to know back then. But that's it. I don't see a reason, more than mere gossip, to add more people to my contacts, declare them as friends for all the more...and have them check out my doings. Sure my profile is public, I guess that's part of the fun. But from that, to adding to your list hundreds and thousands of people you never even wondered about anymore....well...guess I'm in the end practical.

I mean no harm, seriously. And I appreciate people taking the time to add one up to their never ending list of friends. But...I guess I'm not into it. Too much people to talk to, too little time (I'm even looking for a weekend job to add to my never ending list of activities) and a giant lack of discipline when it comes to keeping in touch.

Well well...this wasn't much of what I wanted to write about. I wanted to explain that funny image you look above this post. That's my personality DNA...appearently. Actually, reading the full description, it is sort of acurate. That's another thing I like about Facebook, they keep giving me things to define my self with: if I'm green, if I like shoes, what movies I liked, what books I'm reading. Knowing the applications universe to be neverending, I yet have to say one reflexion I went to back in the Spice Girls era. Can you truly be defined by an amount of stereotypes?

With that, I shall leave you to ponder...

More on songs, and of Sophia

Those who know me a bit, know that I'm a fan of Sophia Coppola. My fanness was consolidated the day I discussed Marie Antoinette with a friend, and he expressed my feelings on this director and her work so clearly, that I could rest in peace knowing I had a co-defendor of her work out there. From then on, I picked her out as my favorite director. Only 3 movies, I know, I know. But I feel I understand her. And that's enough for me.

Tonight I was surfing the web in one of my nights of insomnia, and I googled her, for the fun of it. Wikipedia tells me she directer White Stripe's cover I just don't know what to do with myself video. I so didn't know, I was shocked! so I youtubed it. I remembered it a little, Kate Moss in black and white. Very photographic and iconic, very Kate Moss, very Rock and Roll, very the 90's, very well embeded with the song.

Many people talk bad about her, googling her I found this critique of Marie Antoinette saying she lacks talent. Well, certainly every one is entitled to their opinion. But those of us who had seen beyond, I invite to rewatch all her movies and check out the rest of her work. To me, she's a director, an artist who by has an exceptional inside knowledge of hollywood, film making, icons, stars. This is a girl who was born in this world. Those who want a Godfather 4 from her, couldn't be more wrong, that is not what she's offering, thank g_d. She's not daddy's little girl. She can stand in her own two feet.

To me, she introduces to film language a series of elements that it has been missing for the last decade. Enough of amazing effects, and those rare and well deserving few scripts that now and then surface from the rest. This is another entire perspective, as I said, the perspective of an insider. One who has her name made by birth, who is not worrying about making the cut, one who is not worried about breaking the laws.

I invite all of you to review Marie Antoinette with this perspective, to feel the film rather than to judge it, to understand the acting, to respect the work with the images. I also invite you all to check out her video, and ode to Kate Moss.

The historian...and the power of the mind

Long ago I was told that I was supersticious, even before I had fully realized it myself. I've always been one to enjoy legends and unsolved misteries, to realize that the imagination can go miles where science fails. Supersticious? Maybe to a degree, as part of this whole misteries curiosity I've always had. Maybe always the simple answer is the right one, but certainly not the most fascinating.

Last week I started reading a book called The Historian. Like Kafka on the Shore, it was a book that followed me around, and I always wanted to read. Finally, the book followed me to the office, and rested on a coworkers desk, where I found it and finally bought it for myself, of course in original (english, in this case).

I had it around while I finished another book. Finally I did a day I was coming out of belly dance class, talking with my teacher and my classmates. My teacher starts talking about Transilvania, and going over with her friends to visit. She tells us she went to the tourist site Dracula castle, comments is not worth while and goes on to another story. The comment stays in the back of my mind, and I go on to the train station and to read my book on my way back home.

Three pages take me to realize precisely that this book is about Dracula. Not only that, but about a quest to find out truth in an old worn legend, about supersticions, about the limits of an investigation and your own, about the power of the mind, about believing the unbelievable, about giving mistery a chance and about growing up.

I wont relate more on the book, not to reveal precious information. But I invite you to give mistery a chance, and to read this book. Here I give you one of it's lines:

"To you, perceptive reader, I bequeath my story"

Anti-Curriculum

A couple of years ago, while rehearsing for the musical "Melodías de Broadway" the director of the group asked us to make an anticurriculum. She defined it as a curriculum with instead of the things you've done, the things you haven't but always wanted to. I found it hard to do, as simple as it might sound and I discovered, when every one shared their own, that there are many things I missed while writting mine. I remember clearly writting learning how to skate (I completely suck at it) and learning how to knit. I've knitted 4 scarfs, one for my boyfriend, so I believe that part I cant scratch from my list! But now is time to wonder, 2 years after doing the first one: What things have I done since? and What would be my next anti-curriculum?

What have I done since?
To be honest, I don't remember everything I wrote on my first one. But I will review what I remember.

Done:

• Learn how to knit.<-I'm a good basic knitter. (Why the snapshot from Lost in Translation? I was knitting my first scarf to wear when I arrived in Barcelona when I watched this movie. And relating to that, started my one sided admiration to Ms Sophia Coppola XD )
• Live in Barcelona (well, actually I haven't lived in the city yet! just the suburbs but I'm working towards it)
• Fully learn belly dancing<-On going-I'm in intermediate!!!
• Visit Germany<-Did, loved Berlin. Next stop: Duisburg...or PENGUIN TOWN.
• Learn German<- Ich bin Shere!
• Read Jane Austen's full library<-I have Emma and another one from her earlier works to go through.
• Read all the classics<-This shore will last me a life time.
• Eat green <- I do! I do!

Undone:

• Learn how to skate<-This will be a life time achievement.
• A year voluntiring abroad. (I have my eyes set on Nepal)
  
• Go to Tibet, India, Japan and any country in Africa.
• Live on my own.
• Finally learn how to drive.
• Roadtrip through Germany. (Nanito..? O:))
• See a ballet.
• Learn ballet.
• Learn how to draw.
• Write a book.
• Learn how to surf.
  

Now reviewed the memory of the previous one, this years anti curriculum would be:

• Form a belly dancing company with choreographies every month.
• Live on my own.
• Go to Duisburg.
• Going back to Scotland.
• Mastering belly dancing intermediate with the veil.
• Writting more in all my blogs.
• Learning how to speak push XD (Dedicated to Vane)
• Reading Kafka. (after Murakami, I'm curious)
• Showing my parents my Barna (soon to be done).
• Xacobeo.
• Continuing writting my maybebook.
• Acomplising the feeling of home while living abroad.
• Learn German.
• Go to Tibet, India, Japan and any country in Africa.
• Mastering my little garden.
• Improving as a photographer.
• Seeing a ballet.

I wont bored you with my wanttodo list any more. Its time for you to give it your shot.
What have you always wanted to do and haven't yet?

People's Theories

Earlier this week I was eating out with some coworkers, when one of them mentioned how it was a already made choice to every one to choose Coca Cola for drink when being asked by the waiter. I pondered quickly about this, being one who had in fact choosen Coca Cola, and it took me only a couple of seconds to argue back to his theory, based on the fact that what I wanted to drink at that moment was prescily it. He rebute saying that it was most typically a different way, and I explained back that it was not, that I take the few miliseconds needed to decide on what I want to drink when being asked.

I'm not "reinventing the wheel" when I say that not only everyone else's thoughts are different, but the basic structure that leads to those thoughts is. When being ask what I want, I think about it and say what I want. To my coworker in the beverage deparment it wasnt so for most people. That's his theory. He got me thinking on all the "self made theories" of those who have crossed paths with me, and I have a few in my record to recall.

• The basic what comes first while showering theory: shampoo, soap, shower gel...
• The "If I see the movie, I dont need the book" one.
• The "I'll quit smoking when the right time comes".
• The "museums are only for tourists" one.
• One of my favorites: the "I don't have time for reading" one.
• The "why leaving my parents house to live on my own".
• The "Oreos are better without the cream" one.
• The "I will not marry because marriage is obsolete".
• The "everyone else's tires are smaller than mine".
• The "good looking girls are better off than smart girls".
• My own one: "I cant handle everything at the same time"
  

And so on and so forth. In the book I'm reading (yes, I DO have time for reading even with my 32 hours a day schedule) Murakami explains throw Miss Saeki that theories need their comprobation, that is to say that they are only that, until proven wrong. I stopped to wonder, people's theories lead parts of their behaviour and in the long run, of their lives. That is to say again that by a preconception of something that you have formed by previous experiences or just by thoughts, a part of your life is lead.

Then the question forged: Are you missing out on something? Are you better of with a wall of theories blocking the new or unexpected? The true end to all this is that there isn't any. Unlike in Kafka on the Shore, there wont be any entrance stone opening and closing. If you dont give yourself the chance to review and discard old and form new theories, you truly havent advanced or grown. That's what it is about, is it not? Changing.

Yesterday while driving with a friend, she mentioned how she was up and foward with change and her mother wasn't. She made me think if I was or wasn't, if those around me were or weren't. I still have long to figure it out...

What about your theories? What are they? Why are they? Care to tell?...Don't be shy!

Blast from the Facebook...and the actual method to get to someone in 6 steps.

Earlier this week I found myself finally singing up on Facebook. Reluctant I was at first, finding it somehow scarry, but well...I do work in internet, I owe to know what's going on.

One highschool friend mentioned they were creating a class group, so I decided to check it out and find out what happened to long lost friends. Here started my shock.The second after I was finally logged on, a request from a friend appears...and I'm like WHAAA? XD!! I know how it works, I'm being trained in networks at my job, I just didnt expect it...or more like never went through it to this extend.

So I overcome my shock, accept my friend and start using it. Lot happening in Facebook people, I needed like 3 days to get my facts straight with all the funcionalities. It's like a whole new Sims like world...powerful and scarry. I finally join my highschool group, add old friends in, old not so friends in, old siblings and cousins in, and for the fun of it, start checking out my friendstobeconfirmed group of friends. 4 clicks away I was at an old crush profile. Never would I have guess it could be this easy XD or this SCARRY. I mean, its far too powerful, people dont even notice it. It's like from a sci-fi japanese anime about major corporations.

This is when I started to truly believe in that theory that says you can meet any one in the world with conecting like only 6 people. And for pure investigating project, or for clear voyeurism, I invite those of you who haven't to check it out. I guarantee it's going to be quite a ride.

And in case you decide not to, come on, speak up, and tell me your weirdest internet experience.

Train's Anatomy

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross. "-Meredith.

Welcome to the application in my day to day life of this new, very famous, tv show: Grey's Anatomy. If you expect this post to be a discussion of the character, their intertwining relationships, and predictions on what's to come, you might aswell turn back now. This wont be a Meredith did this, Burke said that disertation. This will be a extraction of coincidences, inspired by my train travels, the intense and constant necesity of those around me of identifying themselves and others with the characters, and an evaluation of university live. You cant say, you werent warned.

A bit of history...
I started watching the show long ago. I was still in the university, back home, and though awaiting my "inmigrant" future destiny, was far from living it. Usually in Latin America (for those who don't know, I'm made in Venezuela) series such as this run first than they do in Spain. I believe the reasons to be: 1) closeness with U.S.A, 2) the fact that they dont translate them (Thank G.). I remember watching the first episode and thinking I hated the presentation. My sister laughed at me for watching it, now she thanks me. I was quickly hooked, just like every one seems to be.

The constant necesity to relate to the show...
I studied audio-visuals, and since I love good series, I've interested myself in analizing and studying them. I'm quite annoying to watch the serie with, I go all the time like: "look at that angle, its beautifully done"...my sister (she admits to have learn from me) always was like "mind letting me listen?". As this one keeps climbing the charts, so those the comments of "dont you think this one is like Miranda?" or "I've been in the same situation as George". Seriously, all I need is to mention something like "Oh, by the way, in chapter Nº # I loved how they close it so easily" and every one starts talking about how it says this and that about them or about their relations. A bow for the creator, Shondra Rhine, and the rest of the crew for achieving this. Is not easy to reach such grasp between real people and tv people, though others might think me crazy.

Evaluation of university life...
A few days ago, I was sitting on my train on my way to belly dancing class, minding my book, when 4 medicine students sat near me, and I was strategily put in the middle of them. Normally, I hate when people circle you and star a conversation you know nothing about, disrespecting your book time. However, being the noise of the voices too unshakable, and being the conversation related to medicine, university and life, I disregarded my book and payed quiet unminded attention.

They started talking about the next anatomy class. From this moment on, I just kept comparing them in my mind to the blossoming characters of Grey's Anatomy. Keeping the tradition of thinking the characters are real people and that you somehow were the inspiration for the serie, I did the same. There was a Meredith, a Cristina, a George and an Issie.

Soon they started talking about what to do this next summer. Here's where it got interesting. One of them, the Issie, mentioned she needed to work this summer to help her parents pay the tuition. (Issie worked as a lingierie model and payed it all...not only that, afterwards she becomes millionare and doesn't know what to do with the money XD...seriously). Two of them replied that this summer they "wouldn't do anything", that their parents take care of everything, that if they work, it will be only and exclusively for their own particular use. Couldn't find the attitude they said it with more selfish, being an emancipated 23 year old who started working at 17. But well, in this world there's space for every one. They kept on an on going about their allowances, and all the things they bought when they worked a month on summer. I just looked at the Issie, who was quietly listening.

Learning from the small things...
Between the serie and my 4 medicine students, there couldn't be more differences. Still, there were some similarities. The odds that my Issie gets something like 8 million dollars from a dead ex are low, yet in tv anything can happen. Everything looks prettier, or less worse, in a lighted box. I know I'll keep hearing the "I'm like this...she's like that", and I'll just enjoy it. I just wanted 5 minutes to think it with perspective. Can't say I have a characther in this serie, they have tried to find me in it. I guess I have things of this one, and of the other. Just like every one else. Though in ocassions I've tried to identify myself as one exclusive characther, in this and many other series, I've never found one that I feel "thinks" like me, or lives the same things as me. I'm more one of options, so the more pieces, the merrier.

The End.
Allow me to close this post with the best ending I've seen in a tv show. Open, simple, true to the real spirit of years of work. The End of "Sex and the City". Won't reveal it to those who havent seen it, but allow me to quote Carrie on her very last frase:

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." -Carrie

Talk about a happy ending :).

The perfect *starbucks* coffee

My first "serious" job was at a tiny coffee place on a library. I didn't last long, cause I jumped over to working on the library (my book worm qualities took me that far), but I remember every night coming home smelling like coffee. It's like when you go to a disco, and come back with the scent of other people's cigarrettes and the weird effect smoke, but with coffee is more romantic. Also, coffee brings back good memories, like when I was a little girl and stayed over at my grandma's. Around 6 am she made coffee for her and my grandpa, so I used to wake up to that scent.

Now that I'm a grown up, or so they say, my relationship with this brew is quite different. Being one of those who seems to have a day that lasts more that 24 hours, I'm constantly out of sleep. So, as the next person, I turn to coffee for that bit of edge. I must say though, I try to run away from it cause I can so easily get addicted!, but I do take it a good 3 times a week at least.

Being so, I'm lately beggining to feel the appeal of such cute places as Starbucks. My preference is due too, I must say, those beautiful comfy minuature sofas they offer to their customers. In many an ocassion, I've dreamt of spending a quiet raining afternoon there, enjoying my coffee and reading a good book. It's rare though, those who have suffered it might agree, to find one of this sofas available. Being so comfy, people tend to make their use of it last....hours! There's been more than a couple of times that I've tried to get one, only to find my hopes shattered by a quicker coffee drinker, or a nearer tourist couple.

But finding THE addecuate little sofa with a view of the street which inspires me to stop reading for a while and look out, is not the only challenge I've found in my visits to Starbucks. Another, common one as it is, is finding the perfect Starbucks coffee that suits all my demands. I've tried too sweet wants, too strong ones, too weak ones. All have left something unsatisfied in my coffee taste. All, until last saturday, when in a rainy afternoon I found my match....*drums*...

The wonderful new suggestion:
Cinnamon Dolce Latte

At first, I wasn't sure it would fill all my expectations. But it did, and to surely become my favorite. It's a wonderful mix of expresso, cinnamon and milk with cream on top (enough though, not when they put so much you can't enjoy it cause is hard to drink). I was pleased, so pleased when I tasted it, in it's tall presentation, that I was sure I would return soon to repeat the experience. Not only that! but the fact that I found a chair, perfectly located in a peacefull corner, in that rainy afternoon, with a view to Grand Via that was spacious enough, yet not invading...all this made my afternoon of self indulgence worth the while...and the wait!!!

I invite you all, understanding not every body likes coffee, to give my Cinnamon Dolce Latte a try and to comment on your every day pleasure related to a peaceful time to enjoying one self over a good drink. Bring it on!

Your 20 minutes

It's said we should sleep at least a good 8 hours a day...come on, its well distributed common knowledge. But lets not fool ourselves, we all know we dont. And if we do, in those wonderful days when no plans show on the horizon, we have a itty bitty tiny sensation that we have lost useful time. At least I do for certain. I never seem to be able to sleep enough. Either I go to bed too late or wake up too early, one or the other, it always seems Im fighting a futile battle against tiredness. And I'm only 23...

Today when I was driving home on the train, I looked up to check out if I havent missed my station and realized my fellow train riders were in the same slumber as I was. Made me think. Five of them were reading a book, which made me feel compelled to them being a reader myself. Others like the blonde well-dressed girl infront of me, were listening to music. Others completing sudoku's, and others, why not, taking a quick nap on the greasy windows of the train.

Surely, like me, they will have tons of things to do when they get home: shower, make dinner, fold last night laundry, charge your cellie, vege infront of the tv...and finally going back to a short sleep that ends with the hated melody of the alarm clock. The moon comes it's full circle, like Shakespeare said. Again is time to go back to the routine just as tired as you went to bed.

As science improves, we built an endless quantity of therapies to reduce the effects of tiredness. There are plenty "get cured" sessions that revolved around sleep. Of course, an every day girl like me wont spend time or money on that just now, even when I could really use it. So its on my to find an alternative solution, so for starters Ill try with the acient art of meditation and relaxation.

Without their notices, my fellow train riders have already mastered this arts and were growing benefits of it's alternative solutions. Some gain more brain abilities, some more culture, some improve their memory by learning the new mp3 of a singer or other. It was clear to me, my fellows had a headstart. True, nothing beets a warm bed or the right amount of time, but when both seem like a distant dream, and you have to go through 20 minutes drive inevitably, you might as well do something with it. My train fellows knew it, they've sumitted to the routine, came prepared to deal with it and have their 20 minutes awake slumber with an audience of strangers.

Next time it will be:..."Last call!" ...good night ^___^